Let go

Like so many times before,
in so many dreams, in so many memories
the feeling of free-falling whips my breath away
and I struggle to open my eyes 

words uttered, like a poison-tinged blade
words that were said
that were not said
all filling the abstract blurry void

“just let go”
a ghostly whisper by my ears
how many times have I have relearnt that
but forgotten it at a hint of you?

a small voice in me says to be brave
at this destructive tragedy
the mess that I have created
as the hurt flows from my hands

Much as I try to grab onto it,
it slips farther and farther out of my grasp
the harder I try
the farther you go

Maybe I just have to let you go
let go of the sound of your hearty laughter
let go of your warmth
let go of the vision of what we are

could have been

Maybe I just need to let go
let go of these memories
let go of my hands that yearn to touch you
let go of you

Maybe if I let you go I will slowly forget
how it felt to be held in your arms
forget to love you
as your silhouette fades in my mind. 



Fall

It is a cold fall.
Bright red leaves,
golden towering trees.

Like so many times before,
my eyes search,
expectantly, knowingly
for your sandy blond hair and
your outstretched hand.

Your warmth,
a puff of white, sweet
as it drifts towards the overcast sky.




Fireworks

She was a stutter of colors
fireworks in the sky,  lost
without a compass.

Then it hit her,
deer in headlights,
his bad jokes and hearty laughter.

She looked at him
his crazy curls, eyes, nose, lips
his broad shoulders, strong hands

She took it all in, right then and there,
and cartwheeled deeper,
deeper in love with him.

Midnight

your words like honey             chummy
funny

half-truths, half-lies
can no one see your lightning? your thunder?

Scarlet drips from your lips           kinship?
Batshit

Batshit        I laugh
you say
as you burn in the midnight sun.

Someone

Sometimes your eyes flash over
like lightning in the night sky
and you look at me
like I’m not the one you need

I wonder if it’s her
if I was gentler, if I was different
if I was her
her

would I be your missing piece?

Honestly

The words have disappeared inside of me
swallowed
by a surge of world
in a puff of white.
Scattered petals
twirl        twirl
in the gentle, dancing wind

honestly
honestly, it echoes          with the rustling leaves
just let me be
be

If

If God takes me away this year
I will remember the smiles
and the laughter

the seasons with the falling leaves
and your lips on mine
like sweet golden honey

I will think about the stars in your eyes
about the deepness in your voice
words you whispered as you held me tight

hold on to the glimmer of you
you
as I sink
until the day we meet again.

Overdrive

Please
my body sighs, laying here in wait
waiting
for the taste of your love
your warmth that makes my soul flutter its wings.

Your lips curl up into a smile
Come here
I shudder as my heart
and the aching between my thighs
gets almost too much to bear.

Come here